Thursday, June 09, 2005

The Plan

This morning I was mommed out. I'd had enough. The kids were being demanding monsters and I was fed up pandering to every little whim. If the wee divels didn't want breakfast them stuff them.

So I turned on one of my all time favorite CD's and played it LOUD.

Jonny Lang--Lie to me, is a fabulous bluesy rock CD. I love it. And it got me to thinking...when do we lose ourselves in our children? When do we stop doing the things we love because our children don't?

I love listening to loud music, but I'm scared to play it in case one of them gets hurt and cries and I don't hear. Not to mention it gets voted out in favor of the TV!!

I don't shop with them (I mean fun shop, not grocery stuff). It isn't that I like to spend money (cos I havenae got any), but I love to browse...I mean please, I am a woman :)

I don't go to the gym...because I have no one to look after the kids (OK that excuse is wearing thin now we are settled, but for a long time it was true.

I don't just go out for a walk whenever I want to. I used to always be going for a stroll, dog walk, expedition. Now it is a palava to even mention the word walk to my kids--because shock, horror, that means the TV has to go off and they immediately go ballistic--even if the trip is to the park!!!

I don't paint...that's a kicker. I love to paint and draw, but now if I got the stuff out, the kids would want to help. I let them do craft, but have you ever tried to achieve anything when kids are doing craft? Anything except minimize damage to house, pets and person? So I don't get to paint because every evening is taken up writing and trying to get a story together.

You lose your freedom when you have kids, you lose a lot of what makes you YOU. Dads don't seem to have the same problem so much--although dh might argue--but they seem to have a life that isn't dedicated to what their children want every second of the day.

I think I'm getting it wrong. At the moment I think I'm doing a bad job on every single front of my life. Sheesh--you should see the bathroom :(

But I have a plan :)

I made the list (and I have to say blogging wasn't on it) and I'm about to start by tidying/cleaning the house. I'll be happy to do this ground floor today and upstairs tomorrow. I'll get to the three critiques I owe my critique partners (hangs head in shame) and I'll go to superstore and get the essentials we need from the grumpy assistants.

Tomorrow I will start afresh...upstairs and then writing (oh and Kim's whole book, but I'm treating that as a super crit to be done over time).

So I hope you're having a better day than me :)

8 comments:

  1. Many things that are worthwhile are hard work.
    Every thing we do is at the expense of something else.
    After such a long time (motherhood having no holidays or par time commitment) I bet the grass often looks greener on paths not travelled (to mix metaphors). But I am sure you know you would never change. There are plenty of us without children that would love your turmoil and you must have done a good job to have got where you are already.
    All that said yes you deserve your own treats too, it will take a better man than me with more experience in the subject to say how you get it but I sincerely hope you do.
    Personally getting to clean the house is a poor substitute for listening to your favourite tunes on full vol.

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  2. I wouldn't swap them for all the oil in Iraq!! I know I'm lucky, but some days :)

    I cleaned the downstairs AND listened to the Beatles at volume. OK--I just need to mop while I have five minutes!!!

    Now tonight I need to feed hubby (he's home but exhausted else he'd feed me), get kids to bed and do some critting and I will feel like a whole person again.

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  3. Ok--done everything on todays list except, mopping, kim's full and bathrooms cleaned (only a week since I did them last). Not bad when i didn't get going till 4pm as my mom phoned.

    More motivated and feel like I can cope again...bring it on!!!

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  4. I have read the book and made comments on http://friendcyclops.blogspot.com/
    they may not be what you like though :(

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  5. I have a question if you don’t mined a couple of people have told me they cannot comment on my site anonymously (not member of blogspot) can you tell me how to let them.
    Also I know someone who has read all the wheel of time books so far but not the prequel. I will give it to him and he can say how it compares to the rest

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  6. Hope the advice worked!! I haven't read that book yet, but should. Personally I feel the series is TOO long LOL. Mr Jordan got hooked on his story :)

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  7. I hope your next day was better!

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  8. My day got better--since then we've had ups and downs, but what do you expect from emotionally immature people--and then there's the kids ;-)

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