This morning I was mommed out. I'd had enough. The kids were being demanding monsters and I was fed up pandering to every little whim. If the wee divels didn't want breakfast them stuff them.
So I turned on one of my all time favorite CD's and played it LOUD.
Jonny Lang--Lie to me, is a fabulous bluesy rock CD. I love it. And it got me to thinking...when do we lose ourselves in our children? When do we stop doing the things we love because our children don't?
I love listening to loud music, but I'm scared to play it in case one of them gets hurt and cries and I don't hear. Not to mention it gets voted out in favor of the TV!!
I don't shop with them (I mean fun shop, not grocery stuff). It isn't that I like to spend money (cos I havenae got any), but I love to browse...I mean please, I am a woman :)
I don't go to the gym...because I have no one to look after the kids (OK that excuse is wearing thin now we are settled, but for a long time it was true.
I don't just go out for a walk whenever I want to. I used to always be going for a stroll, dog walk, expedition. Now it is a palava to even mention the word walk to my kids--because shock, horror, that means the TV has to go off and they immediately go ballistic--even if the trip is to the park!!!
I don't paint...that's a kicker. I love to paint and draw, but now if I got the stuff out, the kids would want to help. I let them do craft, but have you ever tried to achieve anything when kids are doing craft? Anything except minimize damage to house, pets and person? So I don't get to paint because every evening is taken up writing and trying to get a story together.
You lose your freedom when you have kids, you lose a lot of what makes you YOU. Dads don't seem to have the same problem so much--although dh might argue--but they seem to have a life that isn't dedicated to what their children want every second of the day.
I think I'm getting it wrong. At the moment I think I'm doing a bad job on every single front of my life. Sheesh--you should see the bathroom :(
But I have a plan :)
I made the list (and I have to say blogging wasn't on it) and I'm about to start by tidying/cleaning the house. I'll be happy to do this ground floor today and upstairs tomorrow. I'll get to the three critiques I owe my critique partners (hangs head in shame) and I'll go to superstore and get the essentials we need from the grumpy assistants.
Tomorrow I will start afresh...upstairs and then writing (oh and Kim's whole book, but I'm treating that as a super crit to be done over time).
So I hope you're having a better day than me :)