Monday, October 03, 2005

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D.
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests.  
I decide to water my garden.  
....As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.  
....As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.  
.... I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.  
.... I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.  
.... So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.  
.... But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.  
.... I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left.  
.... My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.  
.... I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.  
.... As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye -- they need to be watered.  
.... I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.  
.... I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.  
.... I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.  
.... I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.  
.... I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.  
.... So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill
.... Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.    
.... At the end of the day:    

* the car isn't washed  
* the bills aren't paid  
* there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter  
* the flowers don't have enough water,  
* there is still only 1 check in my check book,  
* I can't find the remote,  
* I can't find my glasses,  
* and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.  

.... Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.  
.... I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.  
.... Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.  
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming.

4 comments:

  1. Oh, Toni, this is HILARIOUS!!! I kept waiting to hear that lawn flooded because you forgot to shut off the hose! LOL

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  2. Yep, me, definitely! I think it's related to giving birth...something to do with killing brain cells??? LOL

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  3. yes this definitely a good one, and oh so me!!

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