Wednesday, October 05, 2005
RONNIE BARKER died yesterday--he was was a British comic genius who was so diverse you sometimes wouldn't recognise him--he was that good!!! I grew up watching such fabulous performers, Eric and Ernie, Tommy Cooper, The two Ronnies, I think I was blessed to enjoy such humor.
RONNIE'S GREATEST JOKES
>> THE man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies.
>> IN a packed programme tonight, we will be talking to an out of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.
>> IN a packed programme tonight, I shall be having a word with a man who goes in for meditation, because he thinks it's better than sitting around doing nothing
>>AT London's Heathrow, senior customs officer Seaforth Mumbly retired today.
He shook hands with passengers passing through the customs, and confiscated a gold watch for himself.
>> THE Ministry of Defence have announced new pay scales for the Army, heavily favouring the NCOs. Said a new recruit: "It's all very well for the sergeants and the corporals, but it's a nasty blow to the privates."
>> I AM the president of the Loyal Society for the Relief of Suffers from Pismronunciation, for the relief of people who can't say their worms correctly, or who use the wrong worms entirely, so that other people cannot underhand a bird they are spraying.