Thursday, July 05, 2007


I am feeling incredibly cowardly right now.

Querying agents.

I'm frozen, unable to send those letters out the door.

It isn't exactly that I'm afraid of rejection. It's that I'm afraid of not getting accepted :/

Subtle difference. I could take small unintentionally demeaning comments from 99% of literary agents out there, as long as I could find that one good agent to click with.

Fear is a terrible thing. I don't feel it very often, except maybe driving at rush hour surrounded by Winnipeggers--oh, and on ladders. All the normal stuff people associate with fear, like swimming with sharks, finding snakes, deep sea diving, second childbirth, coming face to face with large hairy mammals, heading toward a cliff face in a helicopter flown by a very depressed man--well to be honest, that's pretty exhilarating.

For me the ultimate challenge is not facing danger, it is facing rejection.

I have a few queries still out, but time is ticking and I need to submit more...

Here we go again. If anyone has any magic anywhere I'd appreciate a quick chant or a couple of frogs eyes thrown my way :)


  1. Fear is part of the process. I still feel it on a daily basis. And I don't think it ever goes away.

    Eat some chocolate, say a few prayers, and send out those query letters! :-)

  2. Success can be a frightening thing,but if you're doing what you love, it's tolerable. Keeps you on your toes.

    That being said, it never hurts to say a little prayer and send some encouraging, positive vibes, so they are winging their way to you :)

  3. Fear of success is really what you're talking about - and I think most of us are afraid of that, Toni. Keep sending out those queries, because you *will* click with one agent. I have a friend who literally sent out her MS just under 300 times to editors/agents. She ended up with one of the best agents in the business, and a two book deal with Kensington.

    So, no frogs eyes, but plenty of prayers coming your way! You're going to make it, I know you are!

  4. P.S. How do you get your photos to be so big???

  5. Laurie, I respectfully disagree. I am NOT scared of success. I have not worked hard for so many years on what many think is a pipe dream to be unable to take some of good with the bad.


    It is rejection that I don't want--and your friend who finally got accepted will be my inspiration. I haven't sent out nearly that many--yet :/

    But you are right, it is part of the process.

    PS. My photos are from THE MIGHTY BEAN and I just choose the large size when importing them into blogger. No magic of mine involved :)

  6. I know exactly what you mean! I do the same thing. And I have to start querying this September for Brimstone, so I'll be in the same boat. Good luck with yours!

  7. I wish you the best of luck and send huge amounts of bravery!

  8. Kelly--good luck!

    thanks guys :)

  9. Sorry, I don't have any magic. I"m in the same boat though. I'm afraid to send out those agent letters. I don't know why though.

  10. last book got rejected over and over and over. After the ninth, I toughened up. I think I ended up with about 40 with that particular book and it took two years. I tried not to think about this last time and dove in. I got an agent within 5 queries and it only took a month or so.

    Yes, it is grueling and the rejections aren't fun, but you will never get accepted if you don't query, so you don't have a choice. Don't think, just do.

  11. I have done Rene. Dove in the deep end :/

  12. agents scare me!!!! I get all tongue ties when I get around folks like that (and editors!)